A Girl's Guide To...Horror Movies

When things go bump in the night, it might not be your little sister trying to get to the loo in the dark... GeekGirl gives you the low-down on all things horrific.

Horror is one of those genres that you either love or hate. No one can watch a horror movie and just go “meh”, they just stir too many of our most primitive emotions – fear, anxiety, and a profound sense of relief when the baddy is killed. Of course, that is why horror is the most polarising of all film genres. Some love the gore, tension and thrills, others would rather eat their own tongue than sit through another minute.

Personally, I have always loved a good horror movie, although CrazyCatGirl won’t so much as look at the cover of a horror movie without squealing. I have always had a particular soft spot for kitsch 1980s horror, such as the sublime “Fright Night”, a great cheesy vampire flick that still manages to find a touch of class – after all, what other film could have the undead villain dressed in a woolly jumper and still manage to make him look both threatening and unbelievably cute?

Of course, the 1980s was also the decade that saw the launch of one of the most famous horror series ever created, and one of the world’s most iconic villains – Freddy Krueger in “A Nightmare on Elm Street” (ANOES).

This film also featured an up-and-coming super hottie, none other than a gorgeous teenage Johnny Depp. Although this series started as truly frightening, and ANOES is definitely not a film I would recommend to anyone of a nervous disposition, it soon deteriorated into naff black comedy with poor effects. In the later films, we even see Freddy rapping. Yes, that’s right. Rapping. Laaaame. And don’t even get me started on “Freddy vs Jason”...

So, what are some of the best horror films that have been made? Well, here is a list of our must-see horror films, chosen after years of hard watching and cowering behind cushions:

1. Psycho
This 1960s Hitchcock classic still chills 40 years later. This has to be one of the most classy horror films ever made, with probably the most memorable murder scene in all of film history. Who hasn’t seen that amazing shower scene, and decided at that moment never to shower again? Superb! It was so scary that Janet Leigh, the lead actress, was too frightened to close her shower curtain for years after making the film. Anyone who wants to be a horror officiando must see this film.

2. The Sixth Sense
This wonderful film by M. Night Shyamalan became a smash hit during the 1990s, with Bruce Willis cast in a far gentler role than normal. “The Sixth Sense” is a quiet, spooky film with truly jumpy moments and a great twist at the end, which make it a must-see. Altogether now, “I see dead people.”

3. Ringu
Arrgghhhh!!!! This film is SUPER scary. Trust me, after watching this amazing Japanese horror film, you will never, ever, ever want to watch TV or answer the phone again. Don’t be put off by it being a foreign film, it is astonishing and utterly terrifying. A word of advice, don’t bother watching the US remake, it is lame in comparison.

4. Misery
A true Steven King classic, which remains Kathy Bates’ most famous film. This unnerving film about a psycho stalker who kidnaps and tortures her favourite novelist, Rob Reiner, has some highly memorable and stomach-churning moments. The scene where Kathy picks up the sledge hammer and... well, I won’t spoil it.

5. IT
Another outing from the King of Horror, Mr King himself. This film about a killer alien clown(!) was actually a TV series, and is quite long (about 3 hours). Do not let this put you off. We cannot tell you how much psychological damage this film has caused CrazyCatGirl. The poor thing can’t look at a red balloon or see a Big Top without screaming. Very spooky, very freaky, and very cool.

6. Scream
This film cleverly combines comedy, parody and horror in one slick flick. It spawned a whole new genre of teen-spoof horror movies, and the comedy made the scary even scarier.

7. Jaws
Although a lot may consider this more of a monster movie, it still pushes all of the horror buttons. There is scene after scene of classic, perfect horror, made even scarier by the fact that you don’t even see the shark until the end of the movie. A great Spielberg movie, from the man more normally known for his family films. Dum dum, dum dum...

8. Final Destination 1,2 &3
The Final Destination series is the one we at e-Mo Magazine actually find the most frightening, featuring the most terrifying of horror baddies – Death himself. And a malevolent, evil, vindictive and vengeful Death at that. Each one of these films is super chilling, and you will not be able to sleep after watching them. If you want to keep your mind occupied to reduce the scary, try and play the ‘guess the death’ game. In FD1, there are clues littered around the film that will tell you what is going to happen, if you are open to Death’s hints, much like the characters in the films... The DVD version of FD3 also comes with an awesome choose-your-own adventure style option, where throughout the movie you get to pick Heads or Tails to decide the fate of the character. Very wicked.

9. Dark Water
Another great horror film from the Land of the Rising Sun, Dark Water is an uber frightening film that will make you wet yourself. Trust us, there will be dark water on your skinny jeans as well as on the screen by the end of this fantastic movie. Again, don’t bother with the sugar-coated US version, it isn’t a patch on the Japanese flick.

10. Fright Night
This film is simply great. It is a wonderful, cheesy 80s vampire movie about Charlie Brewster, a boy obsessed with a TV show about vampires called, you guessed it, Fright Night. When a vampire moves in next door, little Charlie has to save his girl and best friend from the living dead, with the help of super vampire killer Peter Vincent. A classic, and must-see for vampire fans.

So, there you have it, our top-ten recommended horror flicks. Of course, this is all personal opinion, and if you are into major slasher flicks, most of the above won’t appeal to you. If that is the case, we strongly recommend anything from the 1970s (Friday the Thirteenth, Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), all of which are high on scare, but pretty low on gore compared to more recent exploits, such as the overly gruesome ‘gorno’ movie, Hostel.

These gorno movies aim to shock by the level of ‘realistic’ violence they portray, but they really can’t be considered true horror, and we don’t rate them very highly. A true horror movie should leave you reaching for the light switch, not the vomit bucket, and a great horror movie will continue to scare you after you have turned the DVD off.

So remember, if it goes bump in the night, grab a stake and some garlic and prepare to unleash hell on the undead...